


we finally got it all right

by annadavidson



Series: let us duel the stars (a mass effect dual au) [6]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Dual AU, M/M, Mass Effect AU, Mass Effect Dual AU, Mass Effect Relationship Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annadavidson/pseuds/annadavidson
Summary: Duncan had started pacing around his room, Steve watching him with concerned eyes from the bed.Prompt: "Just… Come back alive, okay?"





	we finally got it all right

Duncan had started pacing around his room, Steve watching him with concerned eyes from the bed. At any moment, he expected to be called to suit up and head down to the shuttle bay. At any moment, he knew he would leave to enter a battle that could be his last. He had strategies, _what ifs_ going through his head. He was thinking about the battle to come when all he wanted was to think about anything else.

He came to a stop when he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind. He hadn’t even registered hearing Steve get off the bed. He leaned back into Steve’s embrace, trying to force his body to relax. He closed his eyes and tried to forget all that weighed him down – forget the war, the lives, the _deaths._ He felt Steve rest his chin on his shoulder, a silence stretching between them.

He wished he could make this moment last forever. He wished it would never end. He wished that he and Steve in this room were all that existed. He wasn’t about to go off to a battle that very well might become his grave. He was going to go back to bed and wake up to Steve’s smiling face. He was going to get down on one knee and reveal the ring he’d asked Abraham in secret to pick up for him. He was going to propose to the man he loved. He was going to take Steve to Mindoir – show him his home world, _that_ was where he wanted to propose. And if Steve wanted, he was going to find them a house there, a place where they could raise a family.

Except he wasn’t going to do any of that. He couldn’t. Those were all plans for the future – a future that extended past the upcoming battle. In order to do those, he had to survive. And he wasn’t sure he would.

He never went into a battle expecting to live just as he never went into a battle expecting to die. His goal had always been to get his team out alive. Whatever happened to him wasn’t nearly as important as the lives of his friends to him. He’d died once already – it hadn’t been a pleasant experience and only added to his PTSD as well as given him and Aaliyah both issues with zero gravity. Having experienced death once before had given him a sort of numb take on the possibility of it happening again. If he died again, he doubted he’d be brought back for a second time, though he had no doubt that Miranda would certainly try.

Then he had met Steve Cortez. Duncan had felt an attraction to the other man from the beginning, but upon finding out Steve was still grieving the loss of his husband, he hadn’t made any moves to try to start a relationship. He’d been there for Steve as a friend, often offering a shoulder or just to sit there and keep him company. Somewhere along the line, their friendship had blossomed into something more. Somewhere along the line, Duncan had fallen in love.

Duncan turned around in Steve’s arms and kissed him, his arms slung around the other man’s shoulders. He kissed him as if this was the last time they’d be alone together because there was a part of him that feared it would be. He felt Steve grip his hips and pull him closer as if he needed to be as close to Duncan as Duncan felt he needed to be to him. Perhaps if there was no space between them, nothing, not even the war, could tear them apart.

Steve broke the kiss, his hands running up Duncan’s sides, brushing against bare skin before taking the Commander’s hands in his own. Duncan shivered at his touch but never took his eyes off of Steve, off of the man he loved.

“Tell me what you need,” Steve spoke gently, and Duncan felt his face heat up.

He had never expected to fall this deeply in love. He’d fallen so deeply that he worried about his own life. He worried about being able to come home alive because he now had someone to come home to. He worried about living to see his own wedding day because he now had a man he wanted to marry. He worried about being able to start a family because he now had a man he wanted to raise a family with.

Death had always been a possibility for him anytime he set foot on a battlefield. It loomed over him, waiting to curl its fingers around his heart and steal him from those he loved. Now he wanted to wipe it from the board. He didn’t want to accept it as a possibility. He wanted to defy the odds. He wanted to win the big battle with Aaliyah, the stranger who had become like the sister he’d never had, and his team, a whole family he couldn’t stand to lose. He wanted to step off of the battlefield, take Steve in his arms, kiss him, and rejoice in being alive.

He wanted Steve. He wanted to feel him again, to hold him, kiss him, _love him._ He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Steve. As he looked at him, he wanted to pull open the drawer he’d hidden that ring in and drop to one knee. But the possibility of death still loomed over him. And Steve had already lost a husband before.

Perhaps if he was kind, he would have broken off the relationship. Even if he survived this battle, there was no guarantee that he would survive the next. Maybe it would have been best to break the relationship off. It wasn’t kind to Steve to always have to worry about him.

But he was selfish.

 _“You,”_ Duncan breathed out, the word a whisper, shaking with the fear in his voice. He’d insisted earlier that he was okay, that he was ready, but he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. _He couldn’t lie to Steve._

Steve smiled softly and guided him back until the back of Duncan’s legs hit the edge of the bed. The Commander allowed himself to be pushed back onto the bed, feeling the weight of Steve’s body on top of him. The next thing he knew, they were kissing passionately, his hands roaming over the other man’s body, trying to memorize every curve, the feel of his skin, his body heat, the sounds he made when the kissing deepened.

He was selfish.

He wanted every memory of Steve to drive him, fuel him to success, to remind him why he wanted to survive. Though he wanted Steve to stay as far away from the battlefield as possible, he wanted to take some part of him into battle with him.

He was _so selfish._

He reached for the nightstand, fumbling to open the drawer and find the velvet box hidden within. Once it was within his grasp, he slowly sat up, Steve moving up with him. Steve’s attention quickly moved from him to what he held, the small velvet box now held between them. He looked up, meeting Duncan’s eyes, and Duncan felt his heart catch in his throat. He’d never done this before, been this vulnerable, been this in love.

His hands shook as he opened the box, revealing the elegant silver ring it held inside.

“Marry me,” he spoke in a whisper, unable to raise his voice, scared that against the odds, the answer would be the one he didn’t want. _“Please.”_

Steve stared at the ring for what felt like far too long, but just when Duncan’s heart started to drop, Steve’s hands cupped his face and pulled him into a deep kiss. His thoughts blurred together and all he could think of was the other man’s hands touching him, lips kissing him.

When the kiss broke, he said with a grin on his face, “Is that a _yes?”_

Steve smiled back at him. _“Yes, of course!”_ He kissed him again before adding, the words spoken against Duncan’s lips, “On one condition…”

Duncan pulled away from the kiss enough to look at Steve’s face, eyebrows knotting together with confusion. “Anything. _Name it.”_

Steve placed a hand against Duncan’s heart. “Just… Come back alive, okay?”

There was a knock on the door, telling him that he was needed, that the battle would begin soon. And though he knew he shouldn’t say it, he shouldn’t utter those words that were almost impossible to back, he was selfish. He gave Steve a soft, short kiss against his lips and stated firmly, _“I promise.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Like/reblog on Tumblr [here](http://magicrobins.tumblr.com/post/161641621320/shortez-just-come-back-alive-okay).


End file.
